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Thursday, February 23, 2006

Celebrations (Losing My Ethnicity?)

This year Chinese New Year came and went, just like that. It is my fave holiday when I was a kid - the new clothes, the firecrackers, the kuih kapit, the reunion dinners, meeting up with old friends, meeting relatives which just mysteriously appear once a year and the wonderful smell of freshly minted cash. However this year, it was just another day for me. Just a call to my family to wish them Gong Xi Fa Cai and that was it. Probably there was no festivities here and not many fellow Malaysians here to yum seng with. And there goes my CNY 2006.

Valentine's Day however marks the 2nd year anniversary of my proposal to Lila. Can't believe how time flies and 2 years had passed. I for one think that V's Day is too commercialized where restaurants are packed and roses are expensive. I for one was running out of ideas on what to do and what to get. A friend told me that Jim Brickman (a pianist) is in town and so I got tickets for the night. Of course Lila do not know who he is and I haven't been to a piano concert since I was a kid. It turned out to be a wonderful romantic evening with self-declared Mr Romance. I had liked his music a few years ago but his tunes got kinda same, that is his signature I guess. He had a few interesting guest artist - an electric violinist who could make his instrument sound like an electric guitar and also a male and female vocalist. Jim played a lot of his hits and it is funny seeing him playing quite intensely on the piano. His left leg was moving a bit weird while playing. All in all, he had an encore and ended the night with no surpise, his love song Valentine: ... I will give you my heart, Until the end of time, You're all I need, my love, my Valentine.

Wednesday, February 15, 2006

Overwhelmed

It has been almost 1 month since I updated the blog. Time really flies when things started to be busy. Let me see what has happened for the last few weeks... Lila's relatives came to Arizona and we opened up our apartment to them, they got us started on a home-based business, did all the mortgage paperwork for our new house which will be ready next month, shop around for tickets to fly back to Malaysia, my project at work is near its deadline, gave the 60 day move-out notice to the apartment owners, packing all our stuffs in the apartment to ready for the move, do some shopping for things to bring back, tried doing my US taxes myself for the first time and gave up halfway, etc... HELP!!!

And one fine morning, my Camry wouldn't start at all. It was coughing for a few weeks especially in the mornings but I tot it was due to the cold weather. I tot when I come back from Malaysia, I will bring it to its regular checkup. How can Toyota (which is known for their quality and reliability) and especially my Camry which is 1.5 years old fail me? But that morning, it just wouldn't start. So I took a lift from a friend to work, prayed the whole day for a miracle, felt depressed the whole day too. It really felt like my family or someone whom I really depended on every day had cancer or something like that. The next day, it would not start and then I had to call a towing company to tow it to the nearest Toyota workshop. So I followed the tow truck and spent a 1-2 hours waiting for the repairs. The mechanic came up to me and handed me the keys and told me that the battery died and there were no problems with the car. Since the battery is still under warranty, I got a new one for free, I don't need to pay for the towing cost ($70) and they also gave me a free car wash. Phew... what I learnt was that my prayers were really prayers which are convenient prayers - so that I don't have to suffer or go through hardships. But in most cases, it is NO and I need to go through all these experiences. And another is I should not worry unnecessarily. But one thing's for sure, from every experience there is something good which comes out of it.

So when recently, my good non-Christian friend forwarded me some "junk" emails, I normally don't really pay attention to emails like this... but I just took some time to read it and it is an interesting inspiration imagination about someone's chat with God. Here it is:

GLORIOUS CHATTING

God: Hello. Did you call me?

Me: Called you? No. Who is this?

God: This is GOD. I heard your prayers. So I thought I will Chat .

Me: I do pray. Just makes me feel good. I am actually busy now. I am in the midst of something.

God: What are you busy at? Ants are busy too.

Me: Don't know. But I can't find free time. Life has become hectic. It's rush hour all the time.

God: Sure. Activity gets you busy. But productivity gets you results. Activity consumes time. Productivity frees it.

Me: I understand. But I still can't figure out. By the way, I was not expecting YOU to buzz me on instant messaging chat.

God: Well, I wanted to resolve your fight for time, by giving you some clarity. In this net era, I wanted to reach you through the Medium you are comfortable with.

Me: Tell me, why has life become complicated now?

God: Stop analyzing life. Just live it. Analysis is what makes it complicated .

Me: Why are we then constantly unhappy?

God: Your today is the tomorrow that you worried about yesterday. You are worrying because you are analyzing. Worrying has become your habit. That's why you are not happy.

Me: But how can we not worry when there is so much uncertainty?

God: Uncertainty is inevitable, but worrying is optional .

Me: But then, there is so much pain due to uncertainty...

God: Pain is inevitable, but suffering is optional.

Me: If suffering is optional, why do good people always suffer?

God: Diamond cannot be polished without friction. Gold cannot be purified without fire. Good people go through trials, but don't suffer. With that experience their life becomes better, not bitter.

Me: You mean to say such experience is useful?

God: Yes. In every term, Experience is a hard teacher. She gives the test first and the lessons afterwards.

Me: But still, why should we go through such tests? Why can't we be free from problems?

God: Problems are Purposeful Roadblocks Offering Beneficial Lessons to Enhance Mental Strength. Inner strength comes from struggle and endurance, not when you are free from problems.

Me: Frankly in the midst of so many problems, we don't know where we are heading...

God: If you look outside you will not know where you are heading. Look inside. Looking outside, you dream. Looking inside, you awaken. Eyes provide sight. Heart provides insight.

Me: Sometimes not succeeding fast seems to hurt more than moving In the right direction. What should I do ?

God: Success is a measure as decided by others. Satisfaction is a measure as decided by you. Knowing the road ahead is more satisfying than knowing you rode ahead. You work with the compass. Let others work with the clock.

Me: In tough times, how do you stay motivated?

God: Always look at how far you have come rather than how far you have to go. Always count your blessing, not what you are missing.

Me: What surprises you about people?

God: When they suffer they ask, "why me?" When they prosper, they never ask "Why me?" Everyone wishes to have truth on their side, but few want to be on the side of the truth.

Me: Sometimes I ask, who am I, why am I here. I can't get the answer.

God: Seek not to find who you are, but to determine who you want to be. Stop looking for a purpose as to why you are here. Create it. Life is not a process of discovery, but a process of creation.

Me: How can I get the best out of life?

God: Face your past without regret. Handle your present with confidence. Prepare for the future without fear.

Me: One last question. Sometimes I feel my prayers are not answered.

God: There are no unanswered prayers. At times the answer is NO.

Me: Thank you for this wonderful chat. I am so happy to start the New Day with a new sense of inspiration.

God: Well. Keep the faith and drop the fear. Don't believe your doubts and doubt your beliefs. Life is a mystery to solve, not a problem to resolve. Trust me. Life is wonderful if you know how to live.